Here’s the second installment of Funny Stuff Our Kids Say. These mostly are “borrowed” from other folks’ kids and identities have been changed to spare the involved children the future embarrassment a Google ego search may bring.
My friend L’s parents are school teachers. L is in eighth grade. L, L’s parents and L’s parents’ best friends are having dinner when L asks her mother, “Mom, what’s a ’69’?”
L’s mother proceeds, at the dinner table, in front of guests, to explain – in detail – what a ’69’ is when referring to the kind of stuff you never, ever, ever want to imagine your parents doing. Ever.
L gasps and says, “Wow. [My friend at school] told me it was a C minus!”
L now has a son of her own, C. When C was about 4, he decided to leave the house wearing sandals and socks. L tried gently to explain why that might be a fashion mistake of epic proportions. C, undaunted, insisted on the combination.
L: “C, you can’t wear sandals and socks together. It looks ridiculous.”
C: “Well, Mom, I don’t really like what you’re wearing, either.”
One night, J comes into his parents’ bedroom after having a nightmare. J’s dad asks, “What was the dream about?” J responds, “You should know, Dad, you were there!”
My goddaughter, M, spent the night at my house one weekend. She and my son, N, were playing. They were about 3 and 5 at the time. They got into an argument, so I put them both on time out. A few minutes later, I asked N if he could behave himself and play nicely with M. “Yes,” he said. So I let him off the couch. Then I asked M if she would behave and play nicely with N. Silence. So, I asked her again. Nothing. When I asked her the third time, N impatiently shouted at her, “M! Just say YES!”
My FB friends saw this one yesterday, but I’ll post it here again:
Yesterday at 9:30 a.m., my daughter (who is 4 but whose speech is delayed because of autism) and I had the following exchange …
Daughter: Do you want chippies? (This means she wants chips.)
Me: You are not having chips at 9:30 in the morning. Pick something else.
Me: (Holding up 4 fingers and pointing to each finger as I go) Applesauce, Banana, Goldfish or Strawberries. Which one?
Daughter: (Holding up 4 fingers, pointing to each one as she repeats her choices, pausing, then sticking out her thumb): Chippies!!!!!